Top 10 Strangest Police Logs of 2011 [poll]

From teenagers hiding marijuana in peculiar places to nurses attempting to threaten officers to an interesting maneuver to get on Santa's "nice" list, we've compiled some of the strangest North Kingstown police stories from this past year. 

Though these are in no particular order, we invite you to vote for which of these stories is your favorite in our poll below.

1. Trying to Get on Santa’s ‘Nice’ List

One North Kingstown woman had a unique way of trying to get on Santa’s “nice” list this year. South Kingstown police responded to the Wakefield Mall and arrested the 52-year-old woman after she reportedly shoplifted five DVDs – “Cinderella Man,” “Hellraiser,” “Alpha Dog,” “Direct Action” and “28 Days Later” – from FYE. Coincidentally, it wasn’t the only commotion she caused at the mall that day.

While investigating the alleged shoplifting, police spoke to the man portraying Santa Claus at the mall who told officers that the woman did a bit more than get her picture taken with Santa. She reportedly performed a lap dance on the jolly ole’ elf, made inappropriate gestures, and slapped one of Santa’s elves on the behind before leaving, but not before inviting the group to “come watch her at Cheaters.” The fun didn’t stop there as the woman also accused officers of “stealing her brain.”

2. Umm … just read it

North Kingstown police officers arrested three people after stopping a speeding vehicle at 9 in the morning. Among the three occupants – two women and one man – police found two arrest warrants, one suspended license (the driver’s) and the smell of marijuana. But they did not find the marijuana, at first. When the three were at the station, a 19-year-old woman told police she had hidden pot inside her vagina while the car was being pulled over. When the pot was removed, it measured 8.36 grams.

3. Show at the car wash

North Kingstown police received a complaint last Saturday morning of a man, about 45 to 50 years old, When police arrived, they did not see the car or the person in question.

4. Sir, you really do have the right to remain silent

An alleged drunk driver in North Kingstown had a difficult time keeping quiet after officers caught up to him along Post Road. The police first became aware of the 22-year-old East Greenwich resident when the car he was driving nearly collided with a group of them who were on the side of Post Road. After he was pulled over, he started talking. First, he allegedly said he’d “had about four beers.” After failing a field sobriety test, he allegedly asked: “Am I really that drunk?” When officers asked again how much he had had to drink he allegedly said, “I actually had eight beers.” He later apologized for the near-collision but added: “I drive drunk all the time. I consider myself a safe drunk driver. I didn’t actually hit you so what’s the big deal?” He later went on to explain that some people can drink and drive and that he is one of those people, adding: “I can drive better than a woman when I’ve been drinking.” He later apologized for his comments. “I really didn’t mean it, I’m just drunk.”

5. In this corner, Sledgehammer; In this corner, Leafblower

A 40-year-old North Kingstown man was so annoyed by his neighbor’s mid-afternoon leafblower, that he met noise with brute strength. He began by asking the 60-year-old neighbor to turn off her leafblower, and when the woman said she’d be done in a few minutes, he went back home, came back with a sledgehammer and yelled, “I’ll stop it!” before hitting his front stairs with the sledgehammer. As officers placed him in the police cruiser following the arrest, the man allegedly told the officer, “I was only going to hit the blower, not her.”

6. ‘Dude, okay, I give up, you got me’

A South Kingstown man eventually changed his tune after North Kingstown police officers arrested him for drunk driving. Police were initially called to investigate a disabled vehicle at 1:50 in the morning. They found a man apparently asleep behind the wheel of the parked car with the driver’s door open and the engine running. After officers took the keys and woke the man up, the 24-year-old allegedly tried to leave before he discovered the keys were gone. He allegedly said: “Dude, I just want to go home.” Asked if he had been drinking, he allegedly said: “Dude, I didn’t even have that much.” He refused a field sobriety test, but officers found an open bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale in the car. Asked about his drinking later at the station, he allegedly admitted: “I’m clearly hammered.”

7. Man drives into Hunts River

For one Johnston man, getting home from the bar proved to be quite difficult…especially when he found himself in the middle of a river. The man apparently trying to find his way home to Johnston from Nicky’s Bar in Coventry where he had just three rum and Cokes. The man had no idea what town he was in and was transported to Kent County Hospital.

8. Man assaults 7-Eleven clerk over temperature of soda

A 62-year-old man allegedly assaulted a 19-year-old 7-Eleven employee, pulling him over the counter before fleeing the store. What prompted the rage? According to the clerk, the man was incensed over the

9. Pants on the Ground

One 48-year-old man was looking quite the fool after wandering around the streets of Wickford with his pants around his ankles. The man, who was charged with public drunkenness, . Officers noted that there was heavy traffic on Phillips Street and vehicles were slowing down with onlookers creating a traffic backup.

10. Nurse hit with DUI, attempts to intimidate officers

One nurse from Kent County Hospital decided to give officers a piece of her mind to two North Kingstown officers after she was stopped for suspected drunken driving. After failing her field sobriety test, the nurse allegedly told the officers, “I can’t wait for you two to arrive on the operating table, look up and see me.” We guess that’s a pretty decent threat: we wouldn’t want a nurse performing surgery on us either.