Same-Sex Marriage: 'I Never Thought This Would Be A Reality'

Zach Berger and Mike Alper were the first same-sex couple in North Kingstown to get a marriage license. They were at the Town Clerk’s office at 8:30 a.m. Thursday, Aug. 1.

For both men, who’ve been together nearly 11 years, it was a remarkable moment.

“An element of this still feels kind of unreal,” said Alper, 53, an English teacher at South Kingstown High School. “It occurred to me after the law passed, part of our celebrating was because when we were growing up, when we were coming of age, this was impossible. This kind of domestic happiness was just never going to be mine.”

Berger, 50, a librarian, said he felt an air of unreality. “I knew my sexual orientation from a young age and that I wanted to settle down.... It almost doesn’t feel real.”

The couple plans to marry on Sept. 25, the day 11 years ago that they met. Although same-sex civil union became legal two years ago, they didn’t apply, wanting – hoping – to wait for marriage.

“We were both very disappointed with the way the civil union bill was drafted, with the extreme religious exemptions,” said Alper. “It was faulty.”

While not “hard-core activists,” the couple became active in the fight for gay marriage in recent years. Alper and Berger’s brother, Greg Berger, testified together at the marathon Senate hearing in March. Alper and Berger said they were impressed by Sen. Dawson Hodgson’s commitment to the cause. In addition, they said they had positive feedback from Sen. Jim Sheehan each time they wrote to him, and they were grateful for Rep. Bob Craven’s vote in favor of same-sex marriage.

The couple has lived in North Kingstown for many years and said the community has been very hospitable. Still, Berger said he was apprehensive going to the Town Clerk’s office on Thursday – how would the staff react? he wondered. He needn’t have worried.

“The clerks in the office were so welcoming,” Berger said. As it happens, Town Clerk Jeannette Alyward has a gay brother who’s been with the same partner for 25 years. She was thrilled to be able to welcome Berger and Alper.

The couple is planning a small wedding in Wickford in September, with a larger reception to follow sometime next year, giving them time to plan.