2012's 6 Craziest Police Stories in NK

From streakers to "curvy sweet dark chocolate" women, 2012 has been a strange year for police stories in North Kingstown. As we look ahead to 2013, we've narrowed it down to the top six craziest ones that have left us scratching our heads this past year.

6.  Hotel Clerk Gets the Full Vermonty

Back in July, one hotel clerk at the TownePlace Suites Marriot in Quonset got a not-so-welcome late night surprise. According to reports, one guest from Vermont decided that 2:25 a.m. was a great time to strike up a conversation with her at the front desk whilst wearing nothing but his boxers. The situation became even more uncomfortable when the man began asking her about her relationship status and if she was allowed to leave the front desk. When the woman tried to turn away, the man allegedly dropped his drawers and gave her the full monty.

Police found the man in his hotel room...along with his wife and children.

5.  DUI Driver Unaware of Aerial Show

You may have heard of Captain Obvious, but North Kingstown police arrested Captain Oblivious this past year. A motorist in the wee hours of the morning saw an alleged intoxicated driver flip his car not once, but three times. When the concerned driver went to check on the wannabe Evel Knievel, the man allegedly said, “Don’t call the cops. I’ve been drinking” before throwing his bumper and spare tire (which came off in the crash) in the back of his car and taking off.

The crash would've been a spectacle at Daytona, but the man seemed completely oblivious to his aerial maneuvers when police finally pulled him over up the road. In fact, he allegedy told police he thought he had hit a bush. 

4. Streakers Strike Athletic Director With Car

Things went from bad to worse for two North Kingstown teenage streakers during the school’s homecoming game last week. After the duo . When the man reportedly tried to stop the pair from leaving in their car by standing in front of it, the 17-year-old driver allegedly hit the man with his car and took off – only to be pulled over by police just down the road. When officers apprehended the two, they noticed the driver was still without pants.

The 17-year-old driver was charged with with duty to stop in an accident (resulting in a personal injury), disturbance of public assemblies, reckless driving and duty to render aid/report an accident to police while his accomplice was charged with disturbance of public assemblies.

3. Keeping It In Your Pants

Two Dayton Court men seemed to have trouble keeping their man parts covered this summer after both were hit with indecent exposure charges just days apart from each other. 

The first man (known around Wickford for his “revealing attire,” including a “small Speedo swimsuit”) was reportedly seen masturbating at his window. Days later, neighbors called police after seeing another man exposing swimsuit area while sunbathing with a rubber band around his penis. The man later told police that he didn’t recall exposing himself but that his penis has a propensity to come out while he sleeps.

2. Man Survives Jump From Jamestown Bridge

One man got one helluva second chance this year when he survived a jump from the Jamestown Verrazzano Bridge. The Jamestown Harbormaster received a call that a man had jumped from the bridge's center span and into Narragansett Bay around 8:30 p.m. He found the man clinging to a mass of mussels and calling "help me, help me."

According to rescue personnel, the man did not break any limbs in the 135-foot fall but most likely sustained internal injuries.

1.  'Curvy Sweet Dark Chocolate' Woman

What list of 2012's strangest police stories in North Kingstown would be complete without this gem. North Kingstown police – with the help of members from departments in East Providence and South Kingstown – arrested a North Kingstown woman on prostitution charges after "concerned citizens" pointed law enforcement to a rather suggestive online ad. The 28-year-old woman placed the ad, describing herself as a "sweet seductive companion" and "curvy sweet dark chocolate" woman who exclusively catered to the "older men." 

An EP detective went undercover to the woman’s apartment, posing as a potential client for her services. When he arrived, she was reportedly not wearing any pants and apologized for being naked already. Once in her bedroom, she asked the detective if he wanted the “full hour” and told him that there was a $100 per half hour option. When the detective asked her if he got everything for the half hour, she said, “Yes I do everything except for greek.”

The detective gave the code word and officers entered the apartment and arrested her. At the police station, she allegedly told police, “This is the only illegal thing I do” in regards to the prostitution and that she “has others do her dirty work.” Additionally, she allegedly told police that she was going to beat this charge anyway and would continue to do what she was doing.