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Finally Writing It Down...

There's a lot to worry about these days when your spouse is a politician.

I’ve been saying for years that one of these days I’m going to write this stuff down. I’ve put it off, the same way I keep putting off making that appointment with a personal trainer. When I saw the Patch request for bloggers, I thought, "Okay. Why not?" So here goes.

One of my friends recently asked me how I liked being married to a local politician. The truth is that sometimes I don’t like it at all. I could never be one myself. It would really bother me to make decisions that affect people and their employment. I listen to everyone’s side of the story and end up really seeing everyone’s side. I’ve had to get used to people criticizing my husband and rolling their eyes and making faces when he’s talking; it’s kind of weird to watch local access TV and see others doing what I’ve been doing for the last 33 years.

There are, however, a few things I would never get used to. I’m talking Arnold, John Edwards, and Anthony “I don’t think those were my boxers but I can’t be sure” Weiner. I’m often told I worry both needlessly and excessively, and the events of the last few weeks have given me lots of new material.

Ladies, I don’t know about any of you, but the last thing I want at this point in my life is to discover that there’s a kid out there whose braces, summer camp, driver’s ed and prom dresses are my responsibility. Infidelity is one thing. Finding out I’m suddenly on the hook for a second round of endless teen needs is another. This year was the first since Ronald Reagan’s inauguration that we filed our taxes with no dependents.  The swing set has long been dismantled.  I love my grandchildren, but what I love most about them are their doting and gainfully employed parents.

With the sole purpose of figuring out the ages of any would-be offspring resulting from my spouse’s self-proclaimed wild college years, I went scurrying for a calculator and a calendar. The good news is that even if these “children” existed, they would be in their late 40s and old enough to pay for their own car insurance.

I was expressing my fears to my husband the other day as we sat at the beach. He was solving the New York Times crossword puzzle and commenting on the beauty of late afternoon. Not content to relax, I regaled him with my litany of worries. How could Maria not know? Can their marriage be annulled? Could Arnold be ex-communicated? Who will take care of the poor Edwards children if their father goes to prison? I topped it off with a sheepish request. “Ummm...I’m just wondering. You’d never tweet some young woman while wearing just your underwear, would you?”

He closed the newspaper, sat up straight, looked me in the eye and shook his head. “You know,” he said, “everyone thinks I’m the crazy one in this family.”

NEXT: My disastrous journey into the world of fantasy baseball.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Edith Thompson June 17, 2011 at 02:25 AM
I love it. You could be the next Erma Bombeck. --- xx Your husband
Will Rose June 17, 2011 at 04:01 AM
Very fun reading! I love the comment about "the last 33 years." Most married/partnered readers will relate to that; family members and those who know you and Joe perhaps even more so. Great fun, Edie. See you in a couple of weeks; we can talk more about the blogging experience.
Sheila June 17, 2011 at 01:06 PM
Absolutely wonderful and so true.
Cheryl young June 17, 2011 at 01:59 PM
Smart AND funny - totally you. I especially love the closing remark, a la Joe. Keep it coming, Edie. It's great stuff! :) xoxo ~ Cherie
seed and soil June 17, 2011 at 05:15 PM
Hope you can hear my giggles all the way from Stony Lane!!!!....go Edie!!!....good stuff!!!
DaffodillGirl June 17, 2011 at 07:29 PM
OMG so funny, where have you been hiding this talent? You should be writing regularly! Loved the line about seeing others rolling their eyes just like you have been doing for years. Keep it up....and Joe too, we like having him in office!
Diane Brooks Ring June 17, 2011 at 08:34 PM
Well for anyone who doesn't know, Edie was editor of our high school newspaper, so her journalistic talent and keen observational skills come as no surprise to me! Great to see you back in print Edie, the public needs you!!
James mc Monigle June 19, 2011 at 12:26 AM
I love it. I get "Edieisms" all year at school and now I can get them all summer via the blog. Life is good!
NKGOP Watch June 19, 2011 at 12:32 AM
Local politicians are a special breed. They can act like a nut, and be trying to do the right thing, all at the same time! In America, there is nothing else quite like local politics...
Jon June 19, 2011 at 11:53 PM
One of my favorite writers is a woman named Edie; Edie Clark she writes for Yankee Magazine. Much of her writings are just about the basic stuff of life but it is the way the story is told that makes it enjoyable and thought provoking. I have always enjoyed your perspective on the aspects of life, family, politics and I know you'll give us a good story on whatever you write about. I look forward to adding another Edie to my list of favorite writers.
Chuck Brennan June 21, 2011 at 12:23 AM
Great blog Edie! I can see Joe doing his crossword, half listening to you discussing Arnold and Mr. Weiner. Looking forward to more. Chuck
Liz Scullin Dolan June 27, 2011 at 02:21 AM
Edie, you make we Wheaton alumnae very proud! Keep writing, and you just might find your syndicated way to easily underwriting those grandchildren's college degrees :)))))) Liz
Edith Thompson June 27, 2011 at 11:27 AM
Thanks everybody!!! I sent in another one about grammar.


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